The day begins and I feel it is already different. I don’t know in what way, but something has been altered. Maybe it was the pancake breakfast I had about an hour ago. I think the fact that I had strawberries along with it means I will turn into the Hulk at some point in the evening.
There are also wheels turning in my head that suggest good things. One of the strangest thoughts lately has been about cell phone towers. At least, I think that’s what they are. Whatever those towers are that blink with the red dot on top. Anyway, every time I see one of these towers, I feel the overwhelming urge to climb one. No doubt, my mind makes these thoughts up and my body tells me to go screw myself, but I still look at the top and think, I would like to go up there.
Even in my dreams, I am on the highest skyscrapers. Some of these buildings dwarf the Willis Tower. I go up there and stand on top of the world and I don’t feel fear, exactly. I can’t say what I feel; but fear is not there at the moment. This may be the key to unlocking some of my dreams; I need the passion to accomplish my dreams, but too much passion can also squash them in the same right. The purpose of life, in my humble view, is to do, but not always to feel. Perhaps this is only foolishness, as I am still young, but I feel that feeling anything can sometimes be overrated. I am not Spock, but being calm and having clarity is one of the greatest feelings I have ever felt. This is irony to the tenth degree.
Summing up this boring tale, I guess I can say that I DO need to live more. But that living must be done on terms that I can agree on. If I feel a feeling, I must know that it originated in my own heart and not because I wished to follow somebody else’s dream.
So, I will keep dreaming of towers and buildings. perhaps I will climb one or the other, if not to enjoy the view, at least to appreciate the steps it took to get that high.